Date Night (repeat)
Hey, family! So this is a repeat post. I had a few people ask me about this and I thought I would repost it because it had been a while and let’s be honest, how many of you are scrolling down to the bottom to re-read? I didn’t think so. Anyway, this was such an interesting post, and since it has come up in a few conversations a time or two, I thought it would be good to put it out again. ENJOY!
So, I have been coming across some really interesting people that have really interesting stories. One woman that I met along the way, told me that she enjoys dating herself. I wish you all could have seen the look on my face. I was perplexed. Not because she likes dating herself, but, the fact that she was married is what threw me for a loop. I couldn't understand how a woman married for 21 years, could date herself. She explained to me that dating herself is the reason she was able to stay married for all those years. I needed her to explain, and she didn’t mind letting me in.
During our conversation, she explained that she married young. As soon as they got married, the children started coming and they both got lost in their careers and tending to kiddos. It was in year 12 she started to burn out. Nothing made her happy. She said that she had an amazing husband, and kids that didn’t really give her much trouble, but she was still unhappy. After a few months of mulling over what to do, she sought therapy. Her therapist showed her that she was losing herself in the routine of her life and she needed to find what made her happy outside of her husband and kids. She didn’t know what to do until she saw a woman on tv “dating herself”. She thought it was crazy at first. A married woman, with an awesome husband, taking her own self on dates? It seemed foolish. After talking with her husband about it, and getting his support, she took herself on her first date. She went to the nail spa, got a facial, and then dinner and a movie. By the time she made it home, she was so relaxed and ready to see about her family. She couldn't believe that taking out time for her, and only her, had that much of an effect. She made a promise to herself that day to take herself out at least once a month from that day forward and that’s exactly what she has done.
I am a huge advocate for self-care. In my mind, self-care is going to get your hair done, shopping, or going to a spa. In reality, self-care is exactly what it says; taking care of one’s self. That’s not only physical, but it is also spiritual, mental, and emotional. When we are not good, the people around us that love and depend on us are not good. We MUST take care of ourselves and not lose ourselves in our everyday routine. I love that this woman was able to find a way to find her identity outside of her family. Being a wife and mother were not the only hats she wore. She was and is so much more. She wanted to find what made her happy outside of the family. Her husband loves his cars, her kids love their sports. But she wasn't sure what it was that she loved. After a few months of “dating herself”, she realized that she had a love for art and that she enjoyed painting and is pretty good at it. I was just so amazed.
So am I telling you to go out and date yourself? Not exactly, but I am telling you to find time for yourself. Whatever you want to call that, then that’s on you, but it is imperative that you not lose yourself in your everyday life. It’s so easy to do. Get back to those things that you love and that you enjoy. Our mental health is so important. We must protect it at all costs. So if getting jazzy and having a self “date night” fixes that problem, I say; let go and let have!
