When Caring Becomes Dysfunctional
I really love doing these blog posts. I mean, I get to share all of my thoughts with the world and potentially find out that I am not the only one who thinks the way that I think. If you happen to follow TJ&M on Instagram, then you know that not too long ago, I did a post that spoke about; letting things that other people have said about us in the past, affect us now. It didn’t gain a whole bunch of attention, but if one person can learn from something I am saying, then my mission has been accomplished.
Anyway, let’s move on with the post for today. I wanted to dive back into the topic that I discussed on Instagram. Can you care about something so much, until it causes dysfunction in your life? Absolutely! I have run into so many people who have let past hurts affect how they see themselves today. I never could understand why though. Let me be clear; yes, I have experienced pain in my past. Yes, people have said and done things to me that should have broken me down. However, I refused to let ANYBODY have that much power over me. I didn’t want to walk this earth with a victim mentality for the rest of my life. At some point, the way I’m living becomes my fault and nobody else's.
So when the question was posed to me; “how do you handle people who have wronged you in the past?” Not necessarily handling the individual, but more so handling the things that they said to you. My answer was simple; “I don’t”. There is NOTHING for me to handle because I don’t dwell on the things that were said or done to me. Now before you jump down my throat, I realize there are people who have experienced some real trauma and may need to seek professional and spiritual help in order to cope. I am giving you what works for me. Back to my point…Things that people said or did in my past can’t affect me now because those people are not significant in my life. They don’t pay any bills, they are not anyone that I look up to. I honestly don’t even talk to them anymore. So if I let them affect me now, over some mess they said years ago, they win and I am the loser. There is a saying from one of my favorite movies. I can’t quote it verbatim, but it basically states; “hating is such an unnecessary feeling, because when you hate, the people you are hating either don’t know it or don’t care”. Again, this is not verbatim, but I’m sure you get the picture. I am not talking about hating people, but I am talking about dwelling on things from your past. When you dwell and let the people from the past affect you, you have given them all your power, because they either don’t remember what they’ve said or done, or they simply don’t care.
So, I said all of that to say this; please find a way to let this baggage go. Please find a way to stop letting the past creep into your promising future. I always encourage keeping a journal and talking to God about your feelings. Find someone who will uplift you and pray for you. If you need us to pray for you contact us!! Don’t be ashamed of professional help either. Whatever it takes, do it. Your sanity is depending on you to let this stuff go. The enemy WANTS NOTHING MORE than for you to stay affected by past hurts. Why? Because if past hurts affect you to the point of dysfunction, you can’t be effective and inspire others right now. Don’t give the enemy the satisfaction, and don’t give that person your power. They don’t deserve it!
